She cries and sings and wants to go home

This is a continuation of the story of M, a migrant worker from Bangladesh who was repeatedly sexually assaulted by her employer before she was able to flee and found a member of the Migrant Worker Task Force, who brought her to a shelter and has remained in contact with her. Earlier accounts of M’s story can be found here: “If you touch me again, I will stab myself.”

It turned out that M. did not sleep well. I asked her on Tuesday and Wednesday, on Thursday and Friday. she shakes her head every time. And every time I come she hugs me and says how thankful she is. And every single time she cries. Almsot as soon as I enter the door. We provided her with a shelter for her body but I have no idea what is going on inside of her. Not even true, I have a guess, but I don’t fell there is much I can do. I am present, that’s about it. I am there for one hour or one hour and a half and I hope that she stays with me. Mentally, I mean. That she does not close her eyes and starts crying and then the only thing I can do is hold her and repeat that it will be ok. I don’t know if it will. I don’t know. I am positive that we will be able to send her back to Bangladesh. But will that cure her of everything she experienced and all these things that make her not sleep? Dareen and Noor come to visit her regularly as well. But every time I am there she asks when they will come back. I had hoped, that by bringing her there the worst would be behind her and that it would not be just another step in her suffering. She wants to go home and I am not sure whether she understands completely why it is taking so long. On Tuesday she asked me whether the police was at the shelter and whether she was emprisonned.

The doctor came and saw her on Wednesday or thursday. Some of her rips are broken. There is nothing he can do he said, only give her pain killers. Another thing that we cannot do for her. She wants to go home.

Lioba

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